Okay, fine. It's only because I have something to confess. I own a vacation rental business, guests come about every 3-6 days and often times they leave behind food items in the refrigerator. Since stepping up my Vegan practice, I have turned down or thrown away ice cream, cookies, creme brulee, and pizza that remained to taunt me.
But today, disgrace it to say, my chocolate addiction won the battle. My last guest left behind a sampler box of See's Chocolates. A sampler box? Really? C'mon! That's just not fair. Before I knew what had happened chocolate coconut cream had disappeared. It must have jumped into my mouth while I was distracted looking for the ingredients list (which by the way, were never found, only "Nutritional Information" was given in the insert.) The next sneaky sugar square to take advantage of my black out brought me to the mind of maple for a sweet second before I snapped back to reality and felt the guilt rush in. AHHHH!!!! GRRRR!!!! RAWR!!!!!!
The addiction persisted as I chomped little tastes of the the last few remaining before throwing them all in the trash. GRRRR!!! RAWR!!!! I was tricked! I needed a sponsor in that moment. Had someone been with me, I would have been able to turn the other way. Just goes to show sometimes how we can be our own worst enemy.
I call on the law of forgiveness and I give thanks that this small incident does not make me a bad person or a failed Vegan but rather is an opportunity for growth. The way I felt immediately after and even still a little bit right now was not worth the 2 minute sensational satisfaction.
"I am FREEING myself from Security, Sensation and Power addictions that make my try to forcefully control people and situations in my life and thus destroy my serenity and keep me from loving myself and others" - 1st pathway from "The Handbook to Higher Consciousness" by Ken Keyes Jr.
Okay. Relief. This is one of those times. Glory to God.
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